Japan is clearly the country that holds everything wondrous- and weird. From creepy urban legends to absurd foods and cuisines, the game programmers and developers were blessed with an unending source of inspiration.
However, some of these developers took the idea of a unique plot and captivating gameplay a bit way too far. Thus, they produced a number of what you can call, unnatural games, which really defy logic in any sense or form. After going around the World Wide Web and digging around in its every nook and cranny, I came up with this list for the games with the craziest, most unbelievable plots and gameplays.
Let’s get started, shall we?
10- Hatoful Boyfriend
Have you ever walked down the street and saw the most beautiful pigeon ever, and just wondered what it would feel like to date it? Do you often fantasise about romantic dinners with mesmerising Rock Doves?
If your answer is yes, then this is the game for you. Developed by PigeoNation Inc., Hatoful Boyfriend is a game basically about dating pigeons and different birds. You play as a high school girl, who is a hunter/gatherer and lives in a cave in the wilderness. The game takes place in St. PigeoNation’s Institute, a high school where all the students are, well, birds. You can choose one from amongst 8 different bird-men, including a creepy partridge playing the role of the school nurse and very much resembles an undead pedophile.
And if that isn’t already making every one of us uncomfortable, the game has to include some puns like using ‘everybirdie’ instead of ‘everybody’. Really, thank you, Japan, for making me more confident in my pun skills.
9- Creature To Koi Shiyo!
Creature to Koi Shiyo! (Let’s Be in Love With Creatures!) is an excellent example that love can come in any shape, form or species. In this game by Triplethreat, you play as Ichitarou, the protagonist of the game, whose parents are abroad for work, leaving him alone with his sister. A pretty decent set for a romance to spark, huh? That’s where the role of the beautiful childhood friend Kokoro comes in.
Except that, Kokoro is actually a cricket. Not only that, but Ichitarou’s lovely sister is actually a bat –not a baseball one, thankfully. Throughout the game, probably every character is a creature of some sort. The game has three endings, and like every other Visual Novel, the ending you get is based on the choices you make throughout the whole hours of gameplay. This game taught me one important thing:
If you reached the age of thirty and are still single, you might want to consider searching for your soul mate in a cornfield.
8- Doki Doki Majo Shinpan!
Doki Doki is a DS game developed by SNK Playmore. In this game, you play as Akuji, a high school guy –funny how they’re all in high school- who is ‘laidback’. Laidback here meaning a dude who absolutely does nothing, cares about nothing and wears that ‘too cool to be true’ attitude. Only then, he’s approached by Lulu, a spirit which tells him that there are witches in the school and he needs to ‘expose’ them. So, our great protagonist decides to stop being a couch potato and get some witches caught.
Wait, but how is he going to do that? Here comes the fun part. Apparently both Lulu and Akuji here have some pent up emotions from late puberty, thus Akuji’s only way of exposing these witches is tickling, rubbing and groping them in the right spots. He also needs to confront them with some of their own belongings to make them even more ‘flustered’.
Summing it up, Akuji is a sexual harasser in the body of a high school student, Lulu is actually a perverted 850-year old spirit and this game should only be played in a closet away from any form of life. Watch this video.
Reading the title of the game for the first time, it makes you think it’s a game about sea adventures or even the tale of a fisherman searching for his lost water bottle. Yet, Japan will never make anything easy for us. This game, developed by Vivarium and Jellyvision, is a lot closer to My Talking Angela than you think.
In the game, you are a pet owner of a very special species –the Seaman. The seaman is something resembling a fish, which later turns into a toad for some reason. The only difference is that it has a human face, it talks, and apparently it insults you. Of course, it is your role as a professional seaman owner to tame the wild mouth of this fish. Still, even after it’s fairly tame, it will still insult you.
The seaman follows 5 steps of development: a Mushroomer, a Gillman, a Podfish, a Tadman and a Frogman. Personally speaking, the face of that fish haunted me ever since I played this game, so basically it’s a success.
A man in his thirties afraid of commitment? Check. His girlfriend who actually wants commitment? Check. Another woman, hotter than the girlfriend and a hard-core Yandere? Check. Sheep? Quadruple check.
Although this game, developed by Atlus, has probably one of the best plots ever, it really is mind crushing. This game focuses on commitment issues, nightmares and sheep, with sheep popping up everywhere you’d start doubting they were the protagonists of the game. In this game, you play as Vincent, a man leading a pretty normal life with his girlfriend, Katherine. Now, we all notice here that Katherine is the Kim K. way of writing Catherine. Mind crushed.
Then, he wakes up finding Catherine beside him, naked at that, with those luscious ringlets of hair she has. He feels regret for cheating on Kim K. Katherine, but again, he is filled with a sense of attraction towards Catherine.
Throughout all that, he is having constant nightmares. These nightmares are mainly about climbing block-like staircases, with claws chasing him, again, sheep threatening to materialise in real life in order to kill him and after a little gameplay, bosses to fight. He even looks like a sheep, with those beautiful horns.
This game is really unique, with morals and all. But after all, sheep?
5- Kato and Ken
Best Attack Power Ever – Kato & Ken, or J.J. & Jeff, is a game by Hudson Co. for the TurboGrafx-16 and the Virtual Console. It is somewhat a platform game, where you choose a character to play with at the beginning of the game, being either Kato or Ken. They are both detectives, going on a mighty adventure to save a businessman from god-knows-what.
The concept in itself is pretty simple. You go through platforms, jump, avoid enemies and falling to your death, pretty similar to Super Mario Bros. However, it seems that the man who made this game planned it out while having a dose of inspiration in the bathroom.
You see, the enemies you face are no other than birds flying above you and pooping on your head, animals occasionally throwing their crap at you and men in hiding throwing soda cans at you. Your special attack is farting, and while you’re walking on your path you will see a man urinating near some bushes. However, in the American version your attack is spray paint, and there are no men pissing everywhere. Lame.
4- Mister Mosquito
Your goal in this game, is to suck blood from the members of the Yamada family. Aside from the fact that Yamada is probably the most mainstream Japanese ever, this game has nothing mainstream about it. You go through different stages, finishing one after the other and attacking the family members one by one.
Of course, you attack the daughter. In the bath.
But hey, a mosquito has to take its opportunities. Again, you have to be careful when the target finds out they’re being sucked, as it will turn into some sort of battle mode. You then have to attack certain pressure points to calm them down.
I’ve never sympathised with a mosquito this much in my life.
You play as Masaya Kimura, a stalker whose main goal is to rape the mother and two daughters of the Kiryuu family. The game offers you multiple options and sex positions you can choose from, including groping and undressing the members of the family on a crowded public train and also rape them there.
Not only that, but you can play the game in several modes, including a mode of gang rape. The game is almost a free-ending game, but with two specific endings in which the rapist dies. Serves him for being such a pig.
Although this game is really weird, it’s actually very sick and disturbing. Someone really had some weird fantasies as a teenager.
2- Gakuen Handsome
Gakuen Handsome is a BL visual novel by Team YokkyuFuman. This game is basically a parody making fun of BL (Boys’ Love) games in general. The game starts with an unnamed character- you get to choose the name- that goes to an all-boys high school after a seven-year absence from the country.
There, he meets a jolly group of people including a retarded professor, a student council president who is too adamant on his grades that he tries to commit suicide when falling in second place in them and a narcissistic yandere who stabs people with his chin.
This game is obviously horrible on purpose, but really guys. Chins.
1- Sweet Pool
Sweet Pool is another BL visual novel, this time by Nitro+CHiRAL. By far, this game has the weirdest, craziest plot in any game I have ever played. Ever.
The story follows Sakiyama Youji, a guy who goes to a Catholic high school –cause Jesus is important- after a long absence due to health issues. He meets three guys there, one being a retarded seal who is cuckoo in the head. Pretty normal till now huh?
Except on one fateful day, Youji starts to menstruate from his butthole. Then, he starts shitting little blobs of meat monsters. It’s of course your job to choose the right choices throughout the game to help Youji defeat those parasites that have spurted out of his behind.
Except that, the game has no happy endings, as in you will spend hours of gameplay deciding which way Youji will die. He might also get eaten so yeah, variety is key. Wonderful.