10 Useful Advices For Your First Date
First date can be nerve wrecking. So instead of freaking out, tackle it step by step. This list is made in a way to cater both the sexes. Without much ado, here are 10 advices for your first date.
1. Decide On The Location
First off, decide on the location. Nothing too extravagant, nothing too fancy; don’t try that cheap trick of impressing your date with your financial assets. Either she’ll/he’ll tell you to ‘F*#%k off’ or will marry you and make your life hell. Take him/her to lunch or dinner (dinner is more romantic) to a moderately affordable & more importantly a comfortable place, where you two can talk for long hours without getting disturbed or being asked to leave on accounts of other customers waiting for their turn to sit at the table. That would be highly embarrassing. Go someplace quiet. Movies are a complete no-no on your first date. How are you supposed to know each other while staying mum with eyes fixed on the screen? Remember not to go overboard to impress each other, try to be yourself. It’ll save you from disappointments later.
2. Groom Yourself Carefully
Dress appropriately, keeping in mind the place you are going. If you’ve decided on a fine dining experience, wear a smart suit with fancy shoes and neck-tie. Girls go for a descent dress with mild colour. You need to plan about your wear in advance, to get it cleaned, ironed and perfumed-ready on time. If you are headed for a junk food restaurant chain, keep it casual. Shower and shampoo properly. Boys, don’t forget to shave. Make sure you finger nails are clean and lips are un-chapped. Use cologne or perfume.
3. Gifts & Tokens
It’s not obligatory. But a small gift can be a good start and can be your date’s cherished memory of the first date. It’s really stupid to buy something very expensive when you don’t even know the person properly, so avoid doing that. Give something small, like a token of remembrance of the day. Girls, it is absolutely alright to give roses to your date. One simple rose is convenient rather than a bouquet. Be sure not to overdo anything, don’t be impulsive. Let things take its due course slowly. Believe me, you won’t regret it.
4. Mind Your Manners
- Don’t be late.
- Be respectful.
- Chivalry was fun in the medieval period, there’s really no need to take chivalry too seriously today.
- Sit properly, don’t slouch.
- Eat properly, don’t guzzle and definitely don’t glut.
- Make sure you use words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ appropriately.
- Avoid using the word ‘like’ following every other word, it sounds ridiculous.
- Don’t be a nuisance to the people at your neighbourhood tables.
- Don’t begin complaining or whining about your life or family (remember he or she is still a stranger) as it gives you an image of a crybaby.
- Don’t interrupt and babble your own opinion only. Let the person speak and represent her/his view in entirety.
- Do not comment on your partner’s physical appearance unless it’s a compliment.
5. Stress On The ‘Respect’ Part
Respect (a quality that is seriously lacking in today’s society) necessarily means to regard the other persons feeling. Dating is not about expecting some sort of pleasure at the end, not even a kiss. We date, to get to know another independent mind and to gauge the level of compatibility between the two people. Avoid being an ego-maniac and take care of each other’s feelings. Actually, the phrase ‘showing respect’ is more of a defining statement about us than the person to whom it is shown. Being respectful means believing in our own values (and valuing others); furthermore being respectful stands for acting in accordance to your own beliefs.
6. Be Confident
Being confident is synonymous to knowing yourself – the things you are good at and the things you are not good at. A person can become confident by embracing her/his goodness and confronting the faults & work over them. Don’t be a looser, neither be too assertive. Be confident in your answers and suggestion. If you don’t approve of something, say it humbly but confidently. Avoid being arrogant or overconfident. Don’t even try to play the power game, ‘equality’ is the word of the century. A quote for Wikipedia perfectly explains it, ‘Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.’
7. Mind Your Conversation
The primary purpose of the date is to know each other. Don’t expect your date to be exactly like you, respect her/his individuality. Don’t just focus on yourself or discuss only about yourself in a bid to stamp impression. Ask your date questions about herself or himself and listen to the replies. Avoid singing songs about your frustrated life; talk about movies, books and television series, try to find out identical interests and expand on that. Recount some funny incidents. Don’t seem too eager or desperate in your approach.
8. How Long Should You Date
Not too long, it’ll get uncomfortable. Have a good meal, don’t get yourself over-stuffed and when you feel you can just have a bit more, know that is the perfect time to leave. Don’t linger around unnecessarily, thinking something more might come out of it. Save something for the next time. It would be best to ride home together, be it in a public bus or your private car (provided that you guys were headed in the same direction). Then again, remember not to expect anything at the end of your journey.
Don’t follow boring convections. Girls, take note. If you want equal privileges, you’ll have to suffer equal loses too. Take initiative, suggest paying the whole bill yourself. But supposing you guys had a smashing time together and lost track of all the food you have gorged. In that case split the bill between yourselves. Plainly speaking – money rules the world. Surely, you don’t want to be indebted to your dates.
And boys, don’t get carried away by any over-chivalrous zeal. Equality is the foundation of a successful relationship. Don’t feel awkward or insulted if your date wants to pay or split the payment; she is not questioning your manhood. She simply wants to pay for the food she had eaten. And in case, she doesn’t make any offer – pay the bill, run as fast as you can out of the restaurant, stop taking her call, chunk her number to ‘reject list’, keep your distance and move on. History stands witness that women suffering from the trait of not paying their part are known to treat their husbands like unlimited-anytime-accessible-ATM cards.
10. What To Do At The End?
It depends on how was your date. Supposing it was great, you’d want to meet again so be honest about it, exchange numbers. But if you’ve had an awful time, well, then it’s up to the both of you. Would you like to meet again and see if it works out the second time. Or perhaps, it’ll be better to be completely honest (and humble) about the matter. Tell her/him that there’s really no point of going forward with this. Draw the line when you have to.